13 March 2012

Will,

We were appalled to learn from your personal tutor yesterday that you’ve dropped out of university and joined some kind of religious movement. We’re even more astounded that you didn’t discuss this with us, or bother to tell us where you were going.

Unless we’re being lied to by the woman who answers the phone at the headquarters of the Universal Humanitarian Church, handwritten letters are the only means of contacting members. She gave me her word that this letter would be passed to you.

Your mother and I don’t understand why you’ve done this, why you didn’t talk to us first, or what can have persuaded you to abandon your course and your friends. We’re extremely worried about you.

Please get in touch IMMEDIATELY you receive this.

Dad